Jose Cosentino has stopped by to share his latest release, Drama Christmas, Book Eleven in his Nicky and Noah Mysteries series!
Writing the Nicky and Noah Mysteries
Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. I love the white evergreen trees, frozen lakes, sleigh riding over snowcapped mountains, hot apple cider at the fireplace, wreathes on the doors, and mistletoe at the stairs. Most of all, I enjoy donning our gay apparel and making the yuletide gay. So after writing ten popular Nicky and Noah cozy comedy mystery MM novels, I decided the next novel would be a special Christmas gift to my loyal Nicky and Noah readers who adore Nicky and Noah as much as I do (and they adore each other—and themselves).
In Drama Christmas hunky and hilarious armchair sleuth Professor of Play Directing Nicky Abbondanza (Bob Crotchitch), his handsome husband Associate Professor of Acting Noah Oliver (Nephew Freddy), their son Taavi (Tiny Tim), best friends Department Chair Martin Anderson (Scrooge/Carol) and Ruben Markinson (Marley/Ghost of the Lover of the Past), and Martin’s sassy office assistant Shayla Johnson (Housekeeper) star in a musical version of Scrooge’s A Christmas Carol at Treemeadow College, entitled Call Me Carol! The show proves that every Christmas needs a good Carol. Nicky’s favorite target, Detective Manuello (Ghost of the Lover of the Present), and Nicky and Noah’s both sets of wacky parents are along for the bumpy ride. However, more than stockings are hung when hunky chorus members drop like snowflakes. Once again, Nicky and Noah use their drama skills to catch the killer before their Christmas balls get cracked. I know you’ll laugh, cry, feel romantic, and love delving into this crackling mystery with a surprise ending. As Nicky would say, “I’m more excited than an anti-gay politician at a male bodybuilding competition during a costume malfunction.”
New characters in this novel include Assistant Professor of Music Barrett Knight (Ghost of the Lover of the Future). The violet-eyed, dreamy, ginger, musical director wants to make sweet music with Nicky and Noah (pun intended). Muscleman Roman Giamani, student set designer, has his design on someone else in the show. He also has a huge…secret. Student costumer Logan Benton and student stage manager Colton Corrigan share their tortured pasts and yearn for a happy future. Hunky ensemble members wealthy Lucas Alencar, ex-hustler and wanna-be reality show TV star and president Buck La Rue, and diner worker Marc Micklos claim to be straight, but visit gay establishments. Lighting designer student Alec Griffin shines the light on everyone’s antics.
Nicky has his hands full as technical dress rehearsals for the show get off to a rocky start, Taavi falls unrequitedly in love, a homeless teenager is found living in the theatre, ensemble members claim their belongings have been stolen, and of course murder after murder multiplies. As Nicky would say, “Try saying that three times fast while eating peanut butter.”
For those of you who haven’t yet ventured to the land of Nicky and Noah (and you should!), it’s a gay cozy mystery comedy series, meaning the setting is warm and cozy, the clues and murders (and laughs) come fast and furious, and there are enough plot twists and turns and a surprise ending to keep the pages turning (as Nicky would say) “faster than a hooker at a Republican convention.” At the center is the touching relationship between Professor of Play Directing Nicky Abbondanza and Associate Professor of Acting Noah Oliver. We watch them go from courting to marrying to adopting a child, all the while head over heels in love with each other (as we fall in love with them). Reviewers called the series “hysterically funny farce,” “Murder She Wrote meets Hart to Hart meets The Hardy Boys,” and “captivating whodunits.” One reviewer wrote they are the funniest books she’s ever read! Another said I’m “a master storyteller.” Who am I to argue?
In Drama Queen (Divine Magazine’s Readers’ Choice Award for Favorite LGBT Mystery, Humorous, and Contemporary Novel of the Year) Nicky directs the school play at Treemeadow College—which is named after its gay founders, Tree and Meadow. Theatre professors drops like stage curtains, and Nicky and Noah have to use their theatre skills, including impersonating other people, to figure out whodunit. In Drama Muscle Nicky and Noah don their gay Holmes and Watson personas again to find out why bodybuilding students and professors in Nicky’s bodybuilding competition at Treemeadow are dropping faster than barbells. In Drama Cruise it is summer on a ten-day cruise from San Francisco to Alaska and back. Nicky and Noah must figure out why college theatre professors are dropping like life rafts as Nicky directs a murder mystery dinner theatre show onboard ship starring Noah and other college theatre professors from across the US. Complicating matters are their both sets of wacky parents who want to embark on all the activities on and off the boat with the handsome couple. In Drama Luau, Nicky is directing the luau show at the Maui Mist Resort and he and Noah need to figure out why muscular Hawaiian hula dancers are dropping like grass skirts. Their department head/best friend and his husband, Martin and Ruben, are along for the bumpy tropical ride. In Drama Detective, Nicky is directing and ultimately co-starring with his husband Noah as Holmes and Watson in a new musical Sherlock Holmes play at Treemeadow College prior to Broadway. Martin and Ruben, their sassy office assistant Shayla, Nicky’s brother Tony, and Nicky and Noah’s son Taavi are also in the cast. Of course dead bodies begin falling over like hammy actors at a curtain call. Once again Nicky and Noah use their drama skills to figure out who is lowering the street lamps on the actors before the handsome couple get half-baked on Baker Street. In Drama Fraternity, Nicky is directing Tight End Scream Queen, a slasher movie filmed at Treemeadow College’s football fraternity house, co-starring Noah, Taavi, and Martin. Rounding out the cast are members of Treemeadow’s Christian football players’ fraternity along with two hunky screen stars. When the jammer, wide receiver, and more begin fading out with their scenes, Nicky and Noah once again need to use their drama skills to figure out who is sending young hunky actors to the cutting room floor before Nicky and Noah hit the final reel. In Drama Castle, Nicky is directing a historical film co-starring Noah and Taavi at Conall Castle in Scotland: When the Wind Blows Up Your Kilt It’s Time for A Scotch. Adding to the cast are members of the mysterious Conall family who own the castle. When hunky men in kilts topple off the drawbridge and into the mote, it’s up to Nicky and Noah to use their acting skills to figure out whodunit before Nicky and Noah land in the dungeon. In Drama Dance, during rehearsals of The Nutcracker ballet at Treemeadow, muscular dance students and faculty cause more things to rise than the Christmas tree. When cast members drop faster than Christmas balls, Nicky and Noah once again use their drama skills, including impersonating other people, to figure out who is trying to crack the Nutcracker’s nuts, trap the Mouse King, and be cavalier with the Cavalier before Nicky and Noah end up in the Christmas pudding. In Drama Faerie, Nicky and friends are doing a musical production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream at Treemeadow’s new Globe Theatre. With an all-male, skimpily dressed cast and a love potion gone wild, romance is in the starry night air. When hunky students and faculty in the production drop faster than their tunics and tights, Nicky and Noah use their drama skills to figure out who is taking swordplay to the extreme before Nicky and Noah end up foiled in the forest. In Drama Runway Nicky directs a runway show for the Fashion Department. When sexy male models drop faster than their leather chaps, Nicky and Noah use their drama skills to figure out who is taking the term “a cut male model” literally before Nicky and Noah end up steamed in the wardrobe steamer.
As a past professional actor and current college theatre professor/department chair, I know first-hand the hysterically funny antics, sweet romance, and captivating mystery in the worlds of theatre and academia. The Nicky and Noah mysteries are full of them!
In the words of Nicky, “I’m happier than a priest creating an altar boy service manual.” It is my great thrill, joy, and pleasure to share this eleventh novel in the series with you. So take your seats. The stage lights are coming up on an infamous miser, Victorian lovers of the past, present, and future, a not so Tiny Tim, and murder! And I love to hear from readers. So drop me a line. I’ll share it with Nicky and Noah! http://www.JoeCosentino.weebly.com
It’s winter holiday time at Treemeadow College, and Theatre Professor Nicky Abbondanza, his husband Theatre Associate Professor Noah Oliver, their son Taavi, and best friends Martin and Ruben are donning their gay apparel in a musical version of Scrooge’s A Christmas Carol, entitled Call Me Carol! More than stockings are hung when hunky chorus members drop like snowflakes. Once again, our favorite thespians will need to use their drama skills to catch the killer and make the yuletide gay before their Christmas balls get cracked. You will be applauding and shouting Bravo for Joe Cosentino’s fast-paced, side-splittingly funny, edge-of-your-seat entertaining eleventh novel in this delightful series. Take your seats. The stage lights are coming up on an infamous miser, S&M savvy ghost, Victorian lovers of the past, present, and future, a not so Tiny Tim, and murder!
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Excerpt from Drama Christmas
My temples throbbed like a porn star’s anus after a long shoot. I called out to our student set designer, “Roman, why did the set blur like a computer monitor made by a ten-year-old in Guatemala?”
Senior theatre major Roman Giamani entered from stage right. His muscular body was contained in a tight black turtleneck and slacks. A Roman nose aptly projected below his dark eyes, framed by bushy eyebrows. “I guess the projectors malfunctioned, Professor.”
I sighed like a terminally ill patient given another month to live after the Republicans took away his healthcare. “Can you fix the projectors?”
Roman’s thick fingers scratched at his long dark hair. “Do you want me to try?”
That, or we can do the show as a radio drama. “Roman, I wanted to use reliable, old fashioned wood-and-muslin flats for the sets. You insisted on more screens and projectors than housed in a multiplex mall.”
Roman raised his bloodshot eyes to the lighting grid. “You sound like my dad. He’s a carpenter.” He chuckled. “I just realized something, Professor. I’m the son of a carpenter, like Jesus. And since my dad is my mom’s second husband, I have two dads—like Jesus had Joseph and God.”
“You should always listen to your father—either of them. There’s nothing wrong with wood and muslin.” Though Jesus might not agree—having been crucified on a wooden cross.
Roman cocked his head at me as if I had asked him to create the set with crayons and oaktag. “Flats are totally yesterday, Professor. Everybody uses projections now.”
“Then I hope everybody can fix ours, because at this point we have no set.”
Roman shrugged his broad shoulders. “I’ll see what I can do, Professor.”
As my life flashed before my eyes, I spotted Noah and Taavi descending the stage steps, attending to me like paramedics after the latest school mass shooting garnering thoughts and prayers from the NRA. Taavi, adorable in his brown Tiny Tim rags, took the seat next to me. Offering me the hang loose sign from his native Hawaii where Noah and I had adopted him, Taavi’s dimples emerged like craters in Haleakala. “Tech week has gotten off to a rough start, Pop.”
“You think?”
Taavi nodded, and thick dark hair covered his olive-colored forehead. “We haven’t done my scenes yet.”
Spoken like a true Oliver-Abbondanza.
My younger husband (by only seven years) looked incredibly handsome in Nephew Fred’s dark blue three-piece Victorian suit. Sitting next to our son, Noah said, “Hang in there, Nicky.”
Or I could hang myself.
Taavi’s dark eyes glistened like flash paper hit by lightning. “Pop, since you brought up my role in the show.”
“I did?”
The fourteen-year-old added, “I’m thinking Tiny Tim should come out last for the curtain call—carried on your shoulders.”
I glared at him.
Resting an arm around me, he said, “And all musicals start with a big opening number. Let’s be different and begin our show with Tiny Tim addressing the audience.”
At least he called it our show.
“I’ll bet Uncle Martin can write me a catchy song and dance.”
I replied, “Tiny Tim can walk on only one leg. And since when is my best friend your Uncle Martin?”
Taavi grinned. “Since he’s the author of the play, and I need another song.”
Noah pulled Taavi off me. “Taavi, you know how fragile your pop is during tech week of a show.”
“I’m trying to make the play better, Dad.”
I rested my head in my hands. “I’m beginning to think the ghost of Ziegfeld couldn’t make this extravaganza better.”
Noah’s crystal blue eyes softened, and so did my shoulders. “Nicky, we have our own ghost.”
“The Ghost of Jacob Marley slash Lover of the Past played by Ruben?” I asked.
“No.” Noah’s golden locks surrounded his smooth forehead, pink cheeks, and creamy neck like a halo. “The ghost of theatre.” He rose like a Shakespearian actor delivering a triumphant soliloquy. “Whenever noble people come together for the purpose of putting on a show, the ghost of theatre is always in our midst, lifting us up when we need it most, and performing a miracle by tech week’s end.”
I sighed. “We’ll need a miracle to pull off this show.”
He bent down and kissed one of my long sideburns. “You’re the miracle in my life, Nicky.”
Taavi cleared his throat.
Noah kissed the top of his head. “You and our wonderful son.”
“You forgot to add ‘talented,’ Dad.”
“Don’t push it, kid.” Noah, as if sitting at my deathbed, took my hand in a herculean effort to pick up my spirits. “Nicky, you, Taavi, and I are so blessed to have the skills, patience, and determination to yet again, selflessly, put on another show.”
Selflessly?
“A production that will make people laugh, cry, feel good, and dare I say, spread the holiday spirit of peace and goodwill to all!”
Taavi and I applauded. Noah rose, bowed grandly, and took his seat.
Feeling if not revived at least ready for the next battle, I said, “Thank you both. Now please go backstage with the rest of the cast and crew.”
As Taavi mounted the stage steps, he called out over his shoulder, “Think about an opening song for Tiny Tim, Pop. Maybe a hat and crutch number.”
When he was gone, Noah leaned over and kissed my nose. “We’ll get through this, Nicky. And the show will be terrific, as always.”
I squeezed his soft shoulder. “With you by my side.”
“Speaking of that. I was thinking, since Scrooge behaves badly with both Nephew Fred and Bob Crotchitch, perhaps you and I can have a solo together.”
“Two people singing together is a duet. One person singing alone is a solo.”
Noah clutched at his chest. “Another solo for me? Thank you, Nicky!” He unleashed a white smile. “How about calling it, ‘Say Uncle’?”
I cocked my head. “Et tu, Noah?”
He smiled gingerly. “You’re right, Nicky. As long as you and Taavi are with me, I’m content playing my supporting role onstage as well as offstage in our murder investigations—as Watson to your Holmes and Taavi’s Baker Street Irregular.”
“Nobody has been murdered on this show.”
“Not yet.”
I did a doubletake. “Do you think somebody in our company will get killed?”
“No.”
I exhaled. “That’s good to hear.”
“I think five people in our company will get killed.”
“How do you know?”
“You’re directing.”
I slumped back in my seat. “Our other ten shows could have been flukes.”
Noah replied like a psychiatrist addressing a patient in a straightjacket, “Nicky, as painful as it is for us, we need to face the reality that you attract murder like wool attracts lint.”
“I admit the likelihood that somebody will get murdered on this show is pretty high.” I glanced up at the still-vacant screens onstage. “Especially if Roman doesn’t fix the scenic projectors soon.”
Noah patted my knee. “But thankfully we have the skills to catch the murderer.”
We?
“How are my two favorite tenured professors?” Assistant Professor of Music Barrett Knight, having leapt down the stage steps, plopped down in the seat between Noah and me. Tall, thin, with wavy auburn hair, and a beard cut as trim as his gym body, the thirty-year-old looked more like a male model than a college professor. “Tech week was hell on the other shows I musical directed. But working with you two guys makes it fun.”
Praise for the Nicky and Noah Mysteries
Joe Cosentino has a unique and fabulous gift. His writing is flawless, and his use of farce, along with his convoluted plot-lines, will have you guessing until the very last page, which makes his books a joy to read. His books are worth their weight in gold, and if you haven’t discovered them yet you are in for a rare treat.
Divine Magazine
. . . A combination of Laurel and Hardy mixed with Hitchcock and Murder She Wrote… Loaded with puns and one-liners…Right to the end, you are kept guessing, and the conclusion still has a surprise in store for you.
. . . The best modern Sherlock and Watson in books today…I highly recommend this book and the entire series, it’s a pure pleasure, full of fun and love, written with talent and brio…fabulous…brilliant.
Optimumm Book Reviews
Adventure, mystery, and romance with every page….Funny, clever, and sweet….I can’t find anything not to love about this series….This read had me laughing and falling in love….Nicky and Noah are my favorite gay couple.
Urban Book Reviews
For fans of Joe Cosentino’s hilarious mysteries, this is another vintage story with more cheeky asides and sub plots right left and centre….The story is fast paced, funny and sassy. The writing is very witty with lots of tongue-in-cheek humour….Highly recommended.
Boy Meets Boy Reviews
Every entry of the Nicky and Noah mystery series is rife with intrigue, calamity, and hilarity…Cosentino keeps us guessing – and laughing – until the end, as well as leaving us breathlessly anticipating the next Nicky and Noah thriller.
Edge Media Network
A laugh and a murder, done in the style we have all come to love….This had me from the first paragraph….Another wonderful story with characters you know and love!
Crystals Many Reviewers
These two are so entertaining….Their tactics in finding clues and the crazy funny interactions between characters keeps the pages turning. For most of the book if I wasn’t laughing I was grinning.
Jo and Isa Love Books
Superb fun from start to finish, for me this series gets stronger with every book and that’s saying something because the benchmark was set so very high with book 1.
Three Books Over the Rainbow
The Nicky and Noah Mysteries series are perfect for fans of the Cozy Mystery sub-genre. They mix tongue-in-cheek humor, over-the-top characters, a wee bit of political commentary, and suspense into a sweet little mystery solved by Nicky and Noah, theatre professors for whom all the world’s a stage.
Prism Book Alliance
This is one hilarious series with a heart and it just keeps getting better. I highly recommend them all, and please read them in the order they were written for full blown laugh out loud reading pleasure!
Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words
About the Author
Joe Cosentino was voted Favorite MM Mystery, Humorous, and Contemporary Author of the Year by the readers of Divine Magazine for Drama Queen, the first Nicky and Noah mystery novel. He is also the author of the remaining Nicky and Noah mysteries: Drama Muscle, Drama Cruise, Drama Luau, Drama Detective, Drama Fraternity, Drama Castle, Drama Dance, Drama Faerie, Drama Runway, Drama Christmas; the Player Piano Mysteries: The Player and The Player’s Encore; the Jana Lane Mysteries: Paper Doll, Porcelain Doll, Satin Doll, China Doll, Rag Doll; the Cozzi Cove series: Cozzi Cove: Bouncing Back, Moving Forward, Stepping Out, New Beginnings, Happy Endings; the In My HeartAnthology: An Infatuation & A Shooting Star; the Tales from Fairyland Anthology: The Naked Prince and Other Tales from Fairyland and Holiday Tales from Fairyland; the Bobby and Paolo Holiday Stories Anthology: A Home for the Holidays, The Perfect Gift, The First Noel; and the FoundAt Last Anthology: Finding Giorgio and Finding Armando. His books have won numerous Book of the Month awards and Rainbow Award Honorable Mentions. As an actor, Joe appeared in principal roles in film, television, and theatre, opposite stars such as Bruce Willis, Rosie O’Donnell, Nathan Lane, Jason Robards, and Holland Taylor. He received his Master of Fine Arts degree from Goddard College, Master’s degree from SUNY New Paltz, and is currently a happily married college theatre professor/department chair residing in New York State.