When I got pinged about coughing up a post for the launch of this blog, I was told the prompt was “First Time” which after I sat and stared at it got me to wonder what would I do with that?
Because there are so so many first times.
Like…my first taste of pot roast (which I very CLEARLY remember because it was an event), first balut (also an event and not as welcome as the pot roast) or something banal like first squirrel seen (yet another glorious event and one I remember fondly despite the disgusted skepticism it drew out of our tour guide-bus driver. We don’t have squirrels in Hawai’i. It was significant for me.) Or the first time I saw snow…which actually WAS in Hawai’i and my father promptly locked the car keys in the trunk forcing me (not even 9 yet) to commit the dubious felony of breaking into a federal building (one of the observatories) to get to a phone to call my grandfather to come drive two hours with the spare keys.
There are so many “firsts” I can talk about. From the first time I truly fell in love with the throaty growl of a V8 engine to the moment I heard the blues and thought, dear fucking god that is my music. Then discovering metal and thrash and Queen… so in that searching for what “first time” meant to me, it led me to the obvious… every single last damned one of them.
And it has to do with writing.
There are going to be a lot of first times in our lives and the best advice anyone can get would be to grab a hold of those emotions and keep them close. Take out those memories and examine them. There is magic in those emotions—both good and bad—reactions you’ll never have again, things that blow your mind with how fantastical the experience is or even how horrifying (I’m looking at you, balut).
Because it is those moments that can turn a writing experience into a real one.
The first time I saw San Francisco, I was a teenager. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen because I’d come from the land of squat buildings, rain-carved mountains with filmy fog wreaths where waterfalls played hide-and-seek as you drove by. It was the first time I was in an area that had clear ethnically divided lines (which was cool because it was like pockets of countries)… and a gay district.
There were a lot of life changing moments on that trip. Life changing because it gave me perspective into worlds and people I didn’t know. I grew up in an Asiatic culture but this was different, had a different feel and the city had its own language, its own beat. It was tall and sprawling with a punch of European influences and languages I’d never encountered.
Also there was a chocolate factory so… there you go.
I try to take those experiences with me when I write. I want to share those things I’ve encountered with people who might never see San Francisco or Los Angeles. And at the same time, build on them to take readers to places that do not exist or see creatures that I’ve only dreamed up. Every person you meet is a slice of a character you can fold into a story or even has a story that will enrich your life experience.
So… first times? Grab them. Hold onto them. Remember them. Relive them. Then, share. Even if you don’t write, share. Talk about how something made you feel wonder…awe…glory…breathless…emotional.
Our first times are the very foundation of our human experience and every shared moment brings us closer together. Be sure to share them. It’s a wonderful thing.
Rhys Ford is an award-winning author with several long-running LGBT+ mystery, thriller, paranormal, and urban fantasy series and was a 2016 LAMBDA finalist with her novel, Murder and Mayhem. She is published by Dreamspinner Press and DSP Publications.
She’s also quite skeptical about bios without a dash of something personal and really, who doesn’t mention their cats, dog and cars in a bio? She shares the house with Yoshi, a grumpy tuxedo cat and Harley, an off-kilter flower-faced grey and white cat-dog , as well as a ginger cairn terrorist named Gus. Rhys is also enslaved to the upkeep a 1979 Pontiac Firebird and enjoys murdering make-believe people.
Rhys Ford’s books can found at Dreamspinner Press (http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com), DSP Publications (https://www.dsppublications.com/) and all major online book stores.
Thanks for the post. So many first times. And Wow, this is the first time I’v thought so philosophically about my first times, lol. But not the first time I’ve enjoyed your writing.
Thanks for the great post (as always)! Along with reflecting about first times, I learned something. I’ve been to Hawaii a few times, but did not know there were no squirrels.
Thank you so much for stopping by, Rhys. As you say, first times are wonderful and memorable. They are one of the few things you’re allowed to grab hold of without permission.
Here’s to boat loads of new experiences you can put into your stories.
Great post. I never noticed the lack of squirrels in Hawaii – was so overwhelmed by everything beautiful that WAS there 😉 First times are amazing – the first time I saw the Eiffel Tower, the first time I saw Girl with a Pearl Earring in person, the first time I heard the Song to the Moon from Rusalka – so many. Thanks for reminding me 😀